My decision to say goodbye to alcohol is the one thing in my life that I'm most proud of. At over three years alcohol-free, I can say that as a person, I am thriving.
As I look back on my life I’ve realized that I was never a “normal drinker.” Sure sometimes I could have one or two drinks, but I never wanted to. I didn’t see the point. I never tried to moderate my drinking either. I knew I couldn’t so it wasn’t an option. I drank for the buzz, and then when I got the buzz, I didn’t want that feeling to end.
In college and throughout my 20s I did a lot of binge drinking. Since everybody else around me was too, I didn’t see it as a problem. I made some amazing memories and there were other nights that I didn’t remember much of anything. I made mistakes and there are some moments that I regret, but it was all fun back then. I worked all week and went out with friends on the weekends. But for me, it was different. I always got a lot more drunk than everyone else, and I’d be so hungover on the days that followed. I was maintaining my life, with some bad nights here and there. I had a lot of negative consequences, but I never considered removing alcohol from my life. I didn’t even realize it was an option. I know now that I wasn’t living, I was only existing.
In August of 2016, I became a mom. I tried to go back to my old drinking life and as a bonus, now alcohol was an accessory to motherhood. That's what society told me. My nights looked different now that I had a baby to care for. I spent a lot more time at home and drinking by myself. I thought I was relaxing and that I deserved it...because #momlife.
Boy was I wrong.
In February of 2018 something clicked. My son was 18 months old and I had had enough. After another weekend of drinking and another 2-day hangover, I reached out to a stranger. I asked for help. I read books, listened to podcasts, and checked out the sober Instagram community. Once I was able to accept that alcohol was no longer an option for me, it was much easier to remove it from my life. I haven't looked back since.
Not all days are good days but now that alcohol is out of the picture, they’re definitely better than they would be. I’m actually living my life. I’ve gone to therapy and have been writing about my experiences. I hope that by telling my story, someone else will realize that they don’t have to live that way either.
Blair is an alcohol-free wife and mom from Minnesota. She works full-time outside of the home, and also does freelance writing. She was recently featured in Scary Mommy, and you can find her creating on IG @sobrietyactivist and on her website www.blairsharp.com.